Right or Wrong
by Thil
Summary: Roughly a thousand years in the past. Godric has turned Eric, but he has trouble coping. Very mature content.


Godric and I were walking down the muddy road. At least, it is what you called a road back then in Scandinavia, imagine a quagmire in which carts get stuck easily. We both wore long hoods against rain and snow, and despite the coarse, oily wool we were soaked to the bones. Since I no longer felt anything, it didn't matter whether it was hot or cold. Nothing mattered to me anymore.

Godric had made me a vampire while I was dying from severe wounds after battle, and when he had given me the choice of death or eternal life, I chose life. I didn't think that by choosing life, I would become death. I enjoyed killing while I was a warrior. It felt righteous to defeat an enemy, to kill someone and feel the righteous rush of victory. It was an honor to the gods I worshiped then. But how was my draining humans of their blood an honor? I did not defeat them in battle. I seduced them, attacked them in the dark, fed upon them like a vulture upon lame prey.

I had killed over a hundred men or more in my old life. Now, I had killed eight humans in my two week-old vampire life, requiring a lot of blood still since I was a new"born" vampire. Godric required much less sustenance, but of course, he was much older. His human life ended a long long time ago.

We had to keep out of sight and kill quietly. We could hardly go into villages, because the people would have recognized our otherness and hunted us. Superstition then was quite popular. With Godric by my side, of course a couple of enraged villagers would not have been a problem, but christianity was spreading and some priests knew countermeasures against vampires, like the bit about silver for instance. And Godric was not willing to take the risk nor was he looking for any trouble. So we stuck to 'roadkill', travelers mostly. A few days ago, we had encountered a hunting party of three men. None of them lived.

I was hungry, I had not fed for what felt too long. I became restless and sullen. We had not talked all night. I did not dare reason about how Godric felt about our situation. He had been made a vampire at a much younger age than me, he did not look a day older than seventeen. But one was not to be fooled, he was over a thousand years old, and he told me that for a vampire this was quite something. His body was covered in tattoos, paintings of black ink on white shining skin, and in their foreignness the long forgotten meaning of the symbols and shapes evaded me. Despite his frail appearance, his strength was enormous. I had seen him throw a cart into a ditch without an effort.

Through the woods I smelled smoke and food cooking. The faint laughter of a child sounded all the way to the path we were following. If I was still human, I would not have heard or smelled a thing, but my senses were enhanced now. It irritated me plenty, but I felt very powerful and I saw, heard and perceived the world in an entirely different way and more clearly than ever before. I smelled several people, male and female. The house had to belong to a family, probably having supper right about now. Godric turned around and addressed me for the first time this night.

"Eric, you have to feed." I stared at him. I was hungry, but I could not bring myself to disturb this family's life. It reminded me too much of my own.

"I will not feed of innocent children, master", I replied.

"You are weak now. If you will not feed, you might lose your strength."

"No, let us wait until we encounter warriors or hunters. They are prepared to die, they have made peace with the gods."

"But there are no gods, my child. You must feed tonight. As your maker, I command you."

I had to obey that order. The blood blond between a maker and the child is stronger than any will. And Godric would not tolerate me starving myself. We started moving toward the house.

"Let me talk. Learn." He knocked at the door. The voices faded inside.

"Who there?", a male voice inquired.

"We need shelter for the night."

We were admitted to a dimly lit room full of smoke. Curious faces looked at us; the family was gathered around the fireplace. I had a strange notion of homecoming and automatically started to smile.

"I am Agvald, son of Arvin, this is my wife Haldis and my eldest son, Thidrek."

"I am Gunter, son of Ingvald, and this is Eric, son of Kjell." It was my real human father's name, but who would know him here?

"Come sit at the fire with us and join our meal. We do not have much, but we are glad to share."

Not being hospitable would ensue the wrath of the god in those days. Especially not giving shelter to warriors was a sin, because the legend was that the thunder god Thor once in while goes knocking on doors in disguise.

We shed our hoods, spread them to dry and sat at space close the fire three children had respectfully vacated. They hid under their mother's skirt, eying the strange men, us. Agvald was not exactly old but marked by hard work and weather, as was his still younger wife who had pretty blond hair bound up in braids. There were three smaller children, the eldest boy, Thidrek, who was maybe 10, and his older sister, who looked about 13, and was, at that time, considered a grown woman ready to be married.

The woman, Haldis, hushed her children and got up to fill two wooden bowls with watery hot stew. Smiling shyly, she put them before us, sort of half bowing and then retreated to her place. I thanked her politely, though we did not touch the food. After a moment of silence, Agvald spoke.

"I can tell by your attire that you must be warriors. What brings you to this area? Has there been trouble?"

"Our affairs of no concern to you." I could tell Godric glamored him; the man had that empty look on his face they all get, like they just go vacant, to be filled by your instructions.

"Your affairs are of no concern to us", he repeated monotonously. The woman shrank back and gathered the children behind her.

"Try her, Eric", and he nodded toward the woman. I glamored her. Godric had explained to me in theory how to do that.

"Everything is going to by alright, Haldis." I could feel her fright loosening and she was trusting me completely. She smiled, relieved, and patted one child's head absentmindedly.

The younger girl … All I could see was her frailty, her veins pulsing in a delicate rush under her pale skin, vibrant and luscious... Involuntarily, my fangs came out. I was not very skilled at controlling my urges yet. The boy jumped up, yelling. "Mother, father, no, the devil, don't you see, what are you doing... " In second, Godric had moved and sunk his fangs ferociously into his neck.

Thick red blood spurted from the wound and he screamed, in pain and shock. My instinct suddenly took over, predator that I was now. Seeing blood, feeling despair and fear of cornered prey, it switched on something rampant in me. With inhuman speed, I seized the girl and fed on her. She smelled and tasted marvelous and I did not even register her trying to fight me. Within minutes I had drained her completely. No I was aroused and I still yearned for more.

I went into a feeding frenzy and did not return from this savage state until the floor was littered with dead or dying bodies and drenched in blood.

I felt invincible and powerful and throbbing, just like after the excitement of a good fight. I saw Godric taking the life out of the man. He met my eyes and let go of the body, which sagged to the ground. I laughed giddily, and Godric smiled. Fresh blood dripped off my lips, and just as I wanted to wipe it away, Godric moved toward my and held my hand.

"Allow me", he murmured, put one hand gently around my neck and pulled me closer to him. His tongue darted out and he started to lick blood out of the corner of my mouth. Was this some strange kind of vampire ritual I had not heard about yet? I held perfectly still, not wanting to anger him. But when his lips started to caress mine, I understood.

I should have been taken aback. I did not take kindly to men kissing or doing any such things, though I had witnessed it involuntarily on some of the raid ships when there were no women to be found. I simply did not know what to do. Some of the blood on Godrics lips had rubbed of on mine; he had fed on the children and it tasted so delicious I wanted more. And all of a sudden I found myself kissing Godric back and liking it. Anything sexual would have been interesting to me at the time since I just had more blood than I had ever had, and this kind of overdose sets off certain urges. Stroking my hair gently, he took a step back.

He looked very alive and magnificent, his skin radiating in a supernatural way. I understood how humans sometimes confuse a vampire with a god.

"Would you like to lie with me?", he asked, eyes blazing. I could not think of an appropiate answer to this. Did I? My nethers very much liked to, so my head complied and just nodded awkwardly. With light speed, he took off his clothes. I had not seen all of his body art before, so naturally I had a lot to take in at once, apart from his lean figure and excitement. Brushing his lips against mine, he freed me of my apparel. I was a little embarrassed since now he could see that I was as excited as he was, but I had little chance to reflect because he ran his tongue down my chest and further, leaving a trail of blood and saliva. I gasped when he took me into his mouth. I had trouble not exploding right then and there. His fangs pricked me a little, but I liked that. I cursed and fixed my gaze on the smoke leaving through the chimney in the ceiling. I wondered how Godric could still breathe with that whole lot of me in him, but of course, I forgot, we didn't. He grasped my buttocks with bloody hands, urging me to move inside him. I did so rather jerkily. Smoothly, one of his hands glided down and he slid a finger into my behind. Startled, I looked at him, dismayed. He let go of me and met my eyes.

"You have never done this before." It was not a question. I shook my head. "Don't be afraid. You might like it. Turn around." I did, and he touched me from behind, firmly this time. I groaned with pleasure. He let two fingers slip inside me, tentatively moving, but I hardly noticed. I concentrated on his hand meeting my demands. His voice pressed, he told me "Tell me if I'm hurting you."

And then he entered me. I bit my lip, yes, it hurt.

"You're hurting me, but it's good." I heard him moaning. He moved inside me and caressed me with the same rhythm. We sank down on the ground, went faster, more fierce. I came first, spurting into his hand with a sigh. He gave me one final thrust and bit me in the shoulder while he climaxed.

We collapsed on the floor, exhausted. He licked my wound lazily, although it was already closing. For a while, I savored that moment of blankness and relaxation when one has his needs taken care of, thought of nothing at all. For the first time since I had been turned by Godric, I felt content. My fangs retracted. I turned to look at Godric, who smiled at me impishly. He was covered in blood.

Now that I had my senses back together, I realized I was, too. Even parts of me that... I was lying on the floor right next to the corpse of the girl, gazing at me with empty eyes. I yelled and jumped up, frantically looking around.

Everything was covered in blood! What kind of dreadful monster had I become, slaughtering and fucking, right next to the dead? On top of that, with a man?! Godric rose beside me.

"It bothers you."

"To hell, it _bothers_ me!", I cried.

"What exactly does? The killing? What we just did?"

Look around! We murdered these poor godsdamned people! And dishonored the dead by fornicating in their _blood!_"

I started pacing down the room, yanking on my bloody breeches. While I did that I saw the child, eyes wide with horror, hiding in a corner. In the blood lust we had overlooked him.

"Godric", I said quietly, still in half crouch, not daring to move. He stood next to me in a second. Gripping the stunned child, his fangs ran out to bite.

"No!", I screamed, gripping his throat violently. He could easily have overpowered me. Surprised, he looked at me. "Eric, what would you rather do?"

"Spare him. Let him go."

"Why?"

I stared at him, dumbstruck. "He has done nothing. He is innocent! Because...Because it is _wrong_!" I screamed the last word on top of my lungs. The following silence was only disturbed by the child's quiet sobbing.

"Eric", Godric said simply, "there is no right or wrong. Not for us." He broke the child's neck.

I hated him. I hated him with all that was left of my heart. Half naked, I stormed out of the house into the snow.


End file.
